Life’s Middle Miles

Category: Life’s Middle Miles

  • Am I in the Middle Miles?

    Am I in the Middle Miles?

    Lately, I’ve just been doing a lot of thinking…

    A lot has happened in life over the last few years. We’ve all been through so much.

    A year ago, my divorce was final. Not something I ever thought I would say as a 47-year-old dad.

    I had spent several months prior thinking I was the absolute worst person. I felt selfish for wanting a better life for myself and my son.

    What kind of dad walks out on his family to pursue a better life for himself?

    This took a major toll on my mental health. I was beating myself up. I was confused, angry, frustrated, depressed, and just flat-out disappointed in myself.

    The crazy thing is, outside of all this, I have a great family, great friends, and a career. It all suffered…

    One of my biggest issues is that I shut people out when I’m depressed. I never wanted to burden my family or friends.

    This is my issue to deal with.

    What I didn’t understand was that talking with people really does help. Asking a family member or friend for some time to talk can be a huge step toward healing.

    At 47, I grew up in an era where asking how we’re feeling or what’s on our minds wasn’t exactly normalized. It was always, “Rub some dirt on it” or “Walk it off.”

    I don’t remember ever learning how to deal with those feelings. I only knew how to push through them. Keep going. Lock those feelings away and move on.

    “Be a man.”

    But I didn’t know what to do when “keep going, keep pushing forward” stopped working.

    So I started doing some research of my own. I didn’t want to feel the way I felt anymore. I can’t tell you the amount of research I did, the videos I watched, and the articles I read.

    I realized I definitely wasn’t the only one.

    However, the issue I found was that much of what I was finding didn’t really speak to me. I found it hard to relate.

    Where was the conversation for guys like me, in a similar situation?

    Was I really alone in this?

    That’s a tough pill to swallow when you’re already feeling alone and self-isolating.

    There is more to this story. There is more to this journey.

    I’m writing this in hopes that I’m able to reach even one person who may have gone through, or is currently going through, some of the same struggles.

    Am I in The Middle Miles?

    There were some great moments in the beginning. Somewhere along the way, though, the race started to unravel a bit.

    Was I too energetic and started the race too strong?

    Hell, maybe I just didn’t stretch properly.

    Is this the part of the journey where I’m just waiting to see how the race ends?

    Maybe I am…

    Maybe I’m somewhere in the middle, just trying to figure out how I’m going to get through this race.

    As I sit here searching for answers, I’ve come to realize that The Middle Miles are where we need to focus the most.

    My journey is far from over. I haven’t figured everything out yet. I’m still discovering myself. I’m still learning how to be a better man, father, brother, son, and friend.

    The middle is where we get tired. Not everything in the first part of the race went exactly as planned.

    So what if we slow down?

    Life doesn’t always have to be a choice between quitting and pushing harder.

    Maybe we stop at the aid station for a while. Maybe our friends and family are there to help energize us. Maybe we give ourselves a chance to catch our breath before continuing on.

    Then we keep moving.

    I want to see how this journey ends.

    It’s time to focus on running the rest of this race the best way I know how.

    Life is all about choices.

    I’m choosing to finish.

  • I Thought I’d Have It Figured Out By Now

    I Thought I’d Have It Figured Out By Now

    There’s a point in life when you realize the map you were following doesn’t quite match the road you’re on.

    I thought by now I’d have more answers. I thought life would feel more settled, more predictable, more figured out.

    Instead, I’ve learned that the middle of life can be one of the most uncertain—and interesting—parts of the journey.

    Maybe There Is No Finish Line

    For a long time, I treated life like a series of checkpoints. Build a career. Make more money. Be a good father. Have a plan. Keep moving forward. Eventually, I figured I’d reach some point where everything finally clicked.

    I’m starting to realize that point may not exist.

    Every time you think you’ve figured something out, life changes the question. Your priorities shift. Your kids get older. Relationships change. Careers take turns you didn’t expect. Things that once seemed important suddenly don’t matter nearly as much.

    Maybe growing older isn’t about finally having all the answers.

    Maybe it’s about getting more comfortable admitting that you don’t.

    The Part Nobody Really Talks About

    One of the strangest things about this stage of life is that from the outside, you can look like you have everything together.

    You work. You handle responsibilities. You take care of the people who depend on you. You solve problems and keep moving.

    But internally, you can still be asking some pretty big questions.

    Am I doing what I’m supposed to be doing?

    Did I choose the right path?

    What do I actually want the next twenty years of my life to look like?

    I don’t think those questions mean something is wrong. I think they mean we’re paying attention.

    What I’m Learning in the Middle

    I’m learning that having your life together and having your life figured out are two very different things.

    I’m learning that changing direction doesn’t mean the years before it were wasted.

    I’m learning that being a good father isn’t about having every answer. Sometimes it’s about being present, listening, and letting your kids see that you’re still figuring things out too.

    I’m learning that success looks different to me now than it did ten or twenty years ago.

    And maybe most importantly, I’m learning that there’s still plenty of road ahead.

    So, What Is Life’s Middle Miles?

    Life’s Middle Miles is about this part of the journey—the stretch where you’ve lived enough life to know a few things, but you’re also realizing how much you’re still learning.

    It’s about fatherhood, work, relationships, mistakes, starting over, trying new things, and figuring out what actually matters as the years move faster.

    I’m not writing this because I have life figured out.

    Quite the opposite.

    I’m writing because I think there are a lot of us somewhere in the middle, looking around and thinking:

    “Is everybody else figuring this out as they go too?”

    I think the answer is yes.

    The Road Ahead

    I don’t know exactly where the next miles lead.

    There are things I still want to build, places I want to go, mistakes I’ll probably make, and lessons I haven’t learned yet.

    But maybe that’s the point.

    Life isn’t something we eventually finish figuring out. It’s something we keep experiencing, adjusting to, learning from, and hopefully appreciating a little more along the way.

    That’s what I want this site to be about.

    Real life. The wins and the failures. Fatherhood. Work. Relationships. Ambition. Regret. Starting over. Getting older. And whatever comes next.

    If you’re somewhere in the middle too, welcome.

    We’ve still got some miles ahead of us.